Come Again: Conscience and Consequence
by Groundswell
Summary: The moment of truth. The moment where everything suddenly doesn't matter so much anymore, because nothing could be as bad as this. Nothing.  Is it even possible to get out of the kind of mess James Potter has landed himself in?


_AN: Hey everyone and welcome to my story, Conscience and Consequence. First, I had planned this to be a novel, but after several unsuccessful tries, I let the project go. Until a few nights ago, where I got this strange revelation. So I sat down and wrote this over a few days, parting it into three. It's a lot to squeeze into three parts, but maybe it works, maybe it doesn't, you tell me. Remember to review :)_

**Part 1**

So this was the moment it had all come down to. The moment of truth. The moment where everything suddenly doesn't matter so much anymore, because nothing could be as bad as this.

Nothing.

And even though he, at some level, had known all along, that this moment would come, he was not prepared. He was not prepared for the anger he knew would flare from Morgan in just seconds. He was not prepared for the way his friends would look at him. And he was not prepared for his own reaction. He was not prepared for any of it.

He should have been. In fact, all of this could have been prevented, had he just talked to Morgan to begin with, about what had been going on. Or at least broken up with her properly. The problem about this was, that they did break up. A lot. Throughout the last two years, they had had about fifteen break-ups, the length varying between two hours and two weeks. Also, he and Morgan had been broken up for five days at that party.

So technically, he hadn't cheated on her – he was not the unfaithful kind of guy. It being with Sierra, one of Morgan's best friends, was a totally different matter (and maybe much worse, he feared).

Had he just told Morgan about it, things would have been different from the start, changing the whole outcome.

The butterfly effect.

But he didn't, and three days later, he had been back together with Morgan, the whole thing with Sierra forgotten. That was until the next time he and Morgan were sitting in the common room, trying to do some talking together, and James seemed a little absent minded (plus he had forgotten they had kind of anniversary that day). So later he had accidentally bumped into Sierra, and whoops, second time. Third time, that's where it had gone so terribly awry. He was a careful guy, but apparently, nothing is 100% safe. Especially not when it comes to sex.

Two months later Sierra had found him, alone in the dorm, dropping the bomb.

Say what?

Yes, she was sure. Yes, it was his. Yes, she was going to keep it.

He had tried talking sense into her. No, she was not going to keep it. No, they were not going to raise a little baby. And, _no_, its last name should definitely _not_ be Potter.

Apparently, his opinion didn't matter.

This is the place in the story when a very stupid decision is being made.

Okay, she could keep it. But no, she was not going to return to Hogwarts after Christmas. And yes, he would pay her to shut up about who the father was. Though, looking back, he did put it more sensitively. At least the part with the money. Because, he didn't want to seem heartless...

Two months later, the talk at Hogwarts started. Where's Sierra? Why hasn't she returned? Has anyone talked to Rico?

Bring in second mistake.

Getting Rico to shut up was not easy. Apparently, his deal with Sierra hadn't applied for her little brother, the largest scumbag ever to set his feet in Hogwarts. And so, months of blackmailing, threads, and more bribing had begun for James.

And meanwhile, Morgan still couldn't decide whether or not she wanted to be with him, Cassandra kept digging in what was going on with Sierra, and Sierra, at least, never contacted him. Girls were complicated.

The first words he heard from her wasn't even her words, but instead Rico's. Asking him if he even had showed at the hospital when Sierra was there. No, of course he hadn't; why should he? Did he know that he was now father to a little baby boy? Of course he didn't, he wasn't a father either; he was only seventeen.

But still...

By this time, something had begun nagging inside him. Was it guilt? Or maybe a little regret? And if so, why? Sierra was in on it, she had said it was okay. Her decision. So he had crumbled the letter to her before it was even written, flushing it out in the toilet. Yeah, better keep that door closed.

That was until Rico once again wanted something. James couldn't do anything, really. Unless he wanted the whole school to know, as Rico so kindly had pointed out. And it had seemed as if Rico's mission was to make James' life a living hell, and it had only gotten worse throughout the months.

That weekend, James had left the school. Enough was enough. He couldn't do anything about it without his whole world tumbling down, but there was one person that could put a stopper to this.

He really had hoped so.

At first, when Sierra had opened the door, he had not known what to say. But then it all came. How did she dare telling Rico? They had an agreement, and Rico? Anyone but him, really. And she had stood calmly, taking it all, nodding, being too kind about it (though he had a feeling she was just waiting to explode). Then the crying had started. Not from her, thank Godric, but from a little baby inside the house. She had looked at him, said something about her son needing her, and then shut the door in his face.

A few weeks had passed, but the nagging didn't go away. Something about seeing Sierra like that, had made him kind of sad. Or thoughtful. Another letter went down the toilet, this one even with a few lines on it.

Then came the day when he ran into Teddy in Hogsmeade. Yes, he was more than happy. Though, Victoire's hormones were going crazy at the moment, giving him a hard time. But better him than the two little one's, eh? Yes, it's true what they say, family really is everything. He wouldn't live without them; they made his day brighter.

Oh, really?

That had made James thinking. Was it really that important? And then, the guilt caught up with him. Not the regret, no, he did not regret anything. Well, maybe ever letting Rico get the upper hand, but that was a different kind of regret.

And so, instead of meeting up with Morgan at the Three Broomsticks (which by the way resulted in yet another break-up), he had disapparated, right from the street of Hogsmeade, into the backyard of the Alvarez family.

At first, of course, Sierra would have nothing to do with him, and after having shut the door right in his face one time, he just kept knocking until, after five or so minutes, she opened the door, just a little bit. She hadn't let him over the doorstep, but had talked to him, just a little. Yes, she was fine. No, she didn't want his apology. Yes, of course she missed Hogwarts. No, she would not have done it differently.

Then it came. Would it... would it maybe be okay if he could see him?

He had expected a clear no. But she had just nodded, letting him inside the house, and then gestured for him to follow. And he had. Into a little room with almost no light, where a little boy was sleeping. Glancing carefully at James, she had picked him up, and slowly handed him over.

He didn't know much about children per se, but he did know one thing. The little boy in his arms was beautiful; tiny, and fragile, a few dark hair on his head, and with a skin tone that was a perfect mix between James' typical English pale and Sierra's golden, slightly darker skin. The little hands were curled into fists and the mouth was slightly open. And there really had been no doubt about it in his mind; absolutely beautiful.

And he was theirs?

The answer had been long on its way, but yes, he was _theirs_.

William? Yeah, he liked that name.

But he hadn't stayed long. With a faint smile and a promise to return, he had left them alone.

The months following had been a mix of every feeling possible. He couldn't man up and just once and for all end it with Morgan. Rico still went out of his way to... be in the way. The Head Boy had it in for him, and the detentions were practically flying his way. But he had visited Sierra when he had the chance, and somehow the one girl he had been the most horrible to, had forgiven him, he knew. Maybe not entirely, but enough for him, and that had stirred another feeling to life inside him.

It was a feeling he had tried to push away over the last year. A feeling only Sierra could bring up in him. It was as if she could see another side of him, a better side, one that neither Morgan, nor his friends seemed to notice. One that made him feel that no matter what was to come, they would at least always be two about this, because they were in it together as equals, the bad history almost forgotten between them.

And the kiss! Well, that had been unexpected, and really it was nothing; except this time, he actually was dating Morgan at the same time. That wasn't supposed to happen, but really, he hadn't minded, it was nice. But with a little glance, it seemed, they had agreed that that was as far as this went. At least now.

And somehow, that gave a little comfort, a little something to look forward to, but still, it had been a secret. One he hadn't planned to get out in the open. Actually, he hadn't given it much thought. It was just there, all of it, and he dealt with it fine. Until now, of course.

So yeah... after it all this, he was still not prepared. Not for his friends' reactions, not for his own.

His wand was long forgotten as he threw the first punch, sending Rico flying across the floor. The girls backed away with a scream, except Morgan, who seemed paralysed. As he threw the second punch, he felt blood on his hand. After the third punch, he felt a hand on his shoulder. The fourth punch was harder, seeing someone was holding him back. The fifth punch only brushed Rico. There was no sixth.

"James!"

He didn't pay any attention to the voice, but was instead trying to fight of his two friends, holding him back. Rico slowly got up in front of him, a hand to his nose, which looked to be broken and bleeding a lot. Breaking bones was not enough, and James tried to get loose another time. He really wanted to do more harm. Just to Rico, that would be months and months of blackmailing and threats coming right back in his face, literally. Maybe he could break his jaw too. Just a few more punches! That would help.

"James!" This time Tracey's voice was followed by a hard slap, which made him focus on her instead, though he was still not really himself. "Calm down!"

"Count to ten, mate," Fred said from behind. "Count to ten!"

And strangely enough, James did while watching Rico turn and walk out. He breathed in and out, in beat with the counting and the biggest sigh escaped him along with the last number. Fred and David forced him back in a chair, though he had given up fighting them. Now he just went along with whatever happened. It was a strange feeling. The panic and helplessness had long gone, and had left a strange and unknown feeling in his stomach.

They were all looking at him. Fred, David, Shane, Tracey, Cassandra. Except Morgan, who was still staring into the wall. But he didn't dare meeting any of their glances.

He wished for it all to go away. He wish he could just close his eyes, and it would all be a nightmare. A horrible, horrible nightmare that would be forgotten in the morning. But it just wouldn't and he knew it.

"So it's true?" David asked. "You knocked Sierra up?"

James hesitated one second before giving one single nod away.

"That's why she didn't come back. You paid her to stay away." It was more of a statement coming from Cassandra than anything else. Her tone was accusing, which was completely understandable.

He nodded again.

"So it's true what Rico said. All of it?" Shane asked.

"Every single one bit." His voice sounded dead, even to him. Where did he go from here?

Morgan moved, turning and looking at him for the first time since Rico had begun letting it all out. "So you cheated on me?"

"He and Sierra had a baby," Tracey said. "Are you sure you want to focus on the cheating?"

Morgan ignored her. "How could you, James? I know we have problems, but seriously, James, Sierra? And over how long time did this go on? How big a prick are you?"

"Morgan, shut up!" David exclaimed, apparently being the first one to have had enough. Though James knew, he did deserve someone yelling at him.

She sent a glare towards James, who wasn't even looking at her, and then stormed out.

This was followed by a silence, and James weighted his opportunities, but really, there was none. Where to go from here? First of course, there would be a detention for hitting Rico, no way that slime-bag would let this pass. And of course he would have to talk to his parents. But really, that was all he could see for certain in his future.

He had never planned this far. Hell, he had never really planned anything!

"So you're paying her?" David said. "To keep you out of it?"

"Yep."

Nothing he could say would make this good. Not even the fact that he actually had seen both of them a lot during the last few months. Nothing would help.

"Why?" Shane asked.

He shrugged, staring at the little spot of blood on the floor Rico's nose had left. He had nothing to say, no one to look at because he knew how they would look at him. He could say nothing, he could do nothing.

Suddenly, Cassandra got up, leaving the classroom, not sparing one single glance at him. Tracey's eyes flew between the door and James before she left too. Then David left, slower, almost hesitant. James looked up, meeting first Fred's eyes, then Shane's, waiting. Would they stay? Please?

But none of them did.


End file.
